I got into a hilarous Facebook argument today about Benghazi, and here’s the funny part. I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other about Benghazi. I am suspicious of the motives of those who are outraged, since they aren’t outraged at Bush, who for Frank’s sake, cannot even go to Europe for fear of being arrested for war crimes.
But whatever, they got Clinton for Lewinksy, I guess they can do as they please, and I’m sure John Stewart will tell me what happened. What gets me is that they’re Demanding Answers, and they’re offended that anyone would accuse them of having political motivations for Demanding Answers, but right after 9/11 – it was a cardinal sin to accuse Bush of having done anything wrong at all.
Remember that? Clearchannel even issued a mass email to all of its employees, effectively instructing all major radio stations in the country that they no one should be saying anything on the air about 9/11 unless it was to express support for President George W. Bush.
Now they START with the assumption that the Office of the President is corrupt – GO PATRIOTS!
The Facebook debate was all about that hypocrisy, so I didn’t need to know much about Benghazi, and I feel a little like Socrates in that way, because I don’t think anyone out there knows anything about Benghazi, just a steady stream of bullshit coming out of the television. Socrates and me – we think the guy who admits he doesn’t know shit is the smartest guy in the room. Go holler at Socates.
Did a French Model tell you, on the Internet?
Anyway, a guy showed up, started Benghazi-ing around in the manner of typical conservatives, and it escalated much in the manner of my previous How To Conduct A Political Argument On Facebook, then I dragged the argument over here and utterly, completely destroyed the guy to the point where he would have certainly wept.
The thing about Facebook arguments is, you’re on someone else’s thread, so it’s not long before you’re pretty much screaming at their houseguests in their living room – not cool. But neither one of you wants to let the other guy get the last word.
Which is why you shouldn’t argue with bloggers. I dragged it over here not just to get it off my friend’s timeline, but also because I had a hilarious plan to render him unable to reply, unable to get the last word – because it’s my blog and I can edit reader comments. No matter what he or anyone said, I was just going to switch to edit mode and then re-type all of the comments to say “ALL HAIL HILARY CLINTON, SHE ROX!”
It was a stupefyingly nasty and efficient rant, about as mean and nasty as I get. And because I’m so savvy, I checked with the Facebook friend whose wall it was on AFTER I finished it, and she said, “Naw, he’s a nice guy, don’t publicly shove a bomb up his ass, he’s too nice.”
I mean, I was three minutes away from posting probably the nastiest and most insulting thing I’ve ever posted. If you’ve been reading a while, really take a moment to mentally snap a tarp over that concept. I went apeshit. And then almost as an afterthought, I saw my Facebook Friend get back online and shot her a message – say, better let me know if you don’t want me lighting your friend up like a downtown Christmas tree, cause I’m halfway through my launch protocol.
Please don’t do that, crazy man, said my Facebook Friend. Sigh. Fine – Abort Launch. Feels like we should be raining fire on someone, but okay – we’ll give peace a chance.
Which is a good thing. Usually, I unload on someone and then feel bad later. So cooler heads prevailed – Yayyyy!
Except Booooooo, sort of a problem. Right after I got done eviscerating the stranger, I was going to check in on Supernatural, see what Dean and Sam are up to. I’ve been re-watching the entire series and the Horsemen are about to show up. Now guess what we’re doing, blogosphere?
That’s right. We’re watching Supernatural. If you’re a dude, grab a beer. If you’re a girl, grab a beer and a Big, Stupid Grin because you’re going to need it watching the smoking hot Winchester brothers rock around for 42 minutes.
Actually, I think that’s a lot to ask – telling you all about that thing and then asking you to pivot over to Supernatural, and this thing’s long enough. So we’ll watch Supernatural tomorrow, since I spent so long today explaining why we’re watching it.
Sorry about yesterday, by the way, but my mom beat up a guy at the bus station and I had to bail her out of jail, get her a decent lawyer and some whiskey. That’s what Mother’s Day is all about, and I’m not really sorry, I hadn’t thought this paragraph through when I started it.