A Red Ass For Tommy C.

01 Apr

Why thank you, Alert Reader and Facebook Friend Mystery Guy – I guess I asked for it when I said, “Hey Facebook what should I blog about?” 

How about the people responsible for the nuclear crisis in Japan, wondered the Alert Reader?  Do you think you could work up a nice red ass, sitting around thinking about them for a little while?  Since you can get angry about television shows and Twitter and Donald Trump?

First I thought, no probably not, because that was an earthquake and then a tsunami, and those things are nobody’s fault.  The end of LOST was somebody’s fault, you bet your ass, but I found it hard to think of earthquakes as somebody’s fault.

But I was kind of troubled by that conclusion.  How can a nuclear meltdown not be someone’s fault?

That would be a proverbial worst case scenario, and if it happens, and nothing went wrong, then we NEVER should have been doing this in the first place.

So that’s the first possibility – something went wrong and it was somebody’s fault.  Somebody – probably lots of people – deviated from the program, in whatever way they did, and those guys caused this.

I mean, the more I thought about it, very quickly I saw that earthquakes predictably occur over time.  And how long are nuclear reactors supposed to last?  It seems to me, you want them to last a long time, and it sure seems like I’ve seen a lot of earthquakes on the news.  There is absolutely no reason to assume there will not be an earthquake in the next fifty or a hundred years.

So you should have been building earthquake-proof nuclear reactors.  Again, if that’s not possible, then you should not have been building reactors at all – BECAUSE OF EARTHQUAKES. 

And these, I think we can all agree, were clearly not earthquake-proof reactors.

So that’s not the worst thing anyone’s ever done in the history of the world, but it’s right up there, and I don’t think it’s possible to come up with a punishment for it.  I mean, if it was a guy named Charlie Patterson, and we figured out it was him, that it was all his fault, what could we possibly do to him?  Kill him?  Torture him? 

I’m 100% sure that we shouldn’t be doing any revenge torturing, but I guess I wouldn’t object if you wanted to shoot him or something.   You’d probably be doing him a favor, and also I don’t argue much with people holding guns.  But I’m pretty sure killing him wouldn’t do us any good, either.

The problem is more pervasive than that.  Because the truth is, the fault doesn’t lie solely in human beings – it lies in corporations.

Corporations are doing this, and yes, I mean that in a general sense.  Corporations don’t have to worry about radiation or tsunamis – they can survive a direct meteor strike.  That’s why they weirdly aren’t concerned about earthquake-proofing their nuclear reactors.

These things are like a swarm of enormous, soulless cockroaches stomping across the planet and look around us – they are picking this place apart.

BP takes a shit in the Gulf of Mexico – and gets a nice sized slice of the very next deepwater drilling permit issued there.  Monsanto systematically redefines food, slowly and methodically over decades, until everyone’s proudly eating cloned, chemical-laden garbage and sneering at people who eat actual food.  Halliburton makes a killing off a trillion-dollar war, and then starts breaking off franchises.  General Electric writes off their mortgage losses – which I could have sworn the taxpayers covered for them – and therefore doesn’t have to pay taxes on their fourteen billion in profits.

We look for the people in the corporations when we look to blame – which is like blaming the bulb in the headlights of a car, when it hits you.

We could find the people responsible for this and we could execute them or imprison them or put them to work, or whatever we wanted to do, and it wouldn’t reverse what happened.  Nothing can ever make this right, not ever.

We’d be stepping on a cockroach.  The problem is in the walls.  In the hive.  In the hidden places where they grow and breed and plot.

We don’t need a punishment, we need a response, and it has to be more of an attitude of extermination than bug-squashing.  We need to realize – it’s not just these guys, at this plant.

It’s everywhere.  It’s absolutely everywhere.

And that leads me back to my first point – isn’t it possible that we shouldn’t have been doing this in the first place?  And if we shouldn’t have been doing it, then why were we?  And did a lot of people make a lot of money doing it?  And if we shouldn’t have been doing it, then why are other people still doing it – everywhere?

Here’s what I would like to see, and I think this would go a long way toward answering my Alert Reader’s question.  I would like to see a map of Japan, and I would like to see a big red pin sticking out of each failing power plant, and then I would like to see blue pins sticking out of the personal residences of all the executives of each plant. Blue pins on the places where the top-level nuclear plant executives keep their families.

My very grim and unpleasant hunch is that we will see wide, pinless circles around all of the reactors.  And if that’s the case, then they’ve known all along that this could happen, and they did it anyway.  That they kept the knowledge so that they could benefit from it while staying clear.  I would be very happy indeed if my hunch were wrong.

I think the next thing I would want, is I would want to see every goddamn nuclear power plant in the world on local maps, with a red pin and some blue pins.  And my friends, if we start to see a disturbing, hunch-like problem all across the world, then we are starting to approach the mindset we need in order to address a crime of this magnitude.

Because if these guys are making money off of power plants that they themselves won’t live near, then they’ve already decided long ago that what happened in Japan is fine as long as they’re in the clear.  And that’s the same attitude Monsanto has, and BP, and Halliburton, and General Electric – they’re always telling us either a) everything’s fine or b) we’re really sorry something went horribly wrong but everything’s fine now, so let’s move on.

These corporations are legal beings.  They’re entities.  And they don’t have to be intelligent because they control people with brains.

We’ve let them grow so huge that they can pay humans hundreds of times what they are worth, make them gods on Earth, and those humans will then interact with the rest of us in such a way to protect their unholy leviathan masters, the intellects of these humans, being worked like puppets by mindless things.

In answer to the Alert Reader’s question, I would start with a long list of every single corporation that had anything to do with the construction and maintenance and inspection and certification of this plant, and freeze their assets completely.  These are probably huge multinational companies worth billions and billions of dollars, and I admit – I have no idea if that’s feasible.

Then I would publicly execute the companies.

Not the officers, not the humans.  I would literally stream online, put it on live television, and I’d dissolve each company.  No idea how that would work, either.  A stack of papers?  A presidential declaration? 

I have no idea, but this would not be a legal process, it would be an act of war.  No doubt the laws protecting corporations are so strong that what I’m saying is practically absurd.  A state of legal anarchy is going to have to exist, all across the globe – we have to recognize corporations for what they are, and deal with them as a species.

Imagine how they would behave if screwing up on this scale meant that you as a corporation were ripped apart and distributed as meat.  Imagine if they really had to answer for their crimes with actual, legal death.  And not the money-gets-transferred-to-a-different-giant-company-with-the-same-executives kind of corporate death, no – the final kind, where you don’t exist anymore and everybody eats you.

With BP, we scolded them and made them put twenty billion dollars into what was basically a huge Swear Jar sitting on the coast, and then they started making commercials with acoustic guitars and people in BP suits wiping slime off of ducks in slow motion.  We for the love of God fined them.  And then moved on to something else.

As for the executives, the humans behind it all, I’d put them in radiation suits, and put them to work.  Even if all they knew how to do was carry buckets of water – get your asses down there and get to work.  And if they ever got things straightened out in Japan, I’d start shipping them to other nuclear plants, because you know that we have to check every single one of those things now, right?

I mean, right? 

In a perfect world, I would round up practically anyone who ever said that nuclear reactors were a great idea, and I’d have them working in nuclear reactors, doing whatever needed done to get them all humming or more likely, all turned off.

But you know something, that’s why I have a red ass, because we’re not going to do anything.  Watch us – we’re going to sit here like we always do, and when it comes time to vote we’ll ask about pretty much everything except the massive, soulless abominations crapping all over the world around us, and then flopping on top of us to waller in it.

What would I do if I could exact any punishment at all for Japan – I’d wave a magic wand and eliminate the very concept of the corporation, and then men and women could – and would have to -stand up and answer for themselves again, and the world would tumble into temporary chaos, legal and financial anarchy would erupt across the planet like a purifying fire, and the chips would fall where the chips would fall.

All of that’s happening anyway, you know – it’s just only happening to human beings, while the corporations grow like big, fat wriggling ticks on our scalp.

Thanks for the red ass, Alert Reader.  You have yourself a nice weekend.

1 Comment

Posted by on April 1, 2011 in Angry, Venomous Rants



One response to “A Red Ass For Tommy C.

  1. bex

    April 2, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    awesome post, Tom


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