Well, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but in just two and a half weeks or so, my Year of Blogging Constantly comes to an end. I will have done what I was assigned by Last Year Tom, and I don’t see how he could complain. Add up all my posts over the last year, and it totals around twelve hundred pages, most of them still up here for anyone who’d like to look.
Now, you might have noticed that some of them are no longer available. That’s because some of them were in that book over there to the right, and it didn’t make sense to give them away and sell them at the same time. And others were just simply really crappy and embarassing – so they got posted and then quietly removed later on.
And others still were too easy to take the wrong way – like one time I wrote about my old art teacher picking up my buddy Mike Rothe by the face, and I think that might have come off like I really thought that was something Mike Rothe didn’t have coming. Oh, he had it coming, all right, the big smarty pants.
But generally, they’re all here, and an awful lot of people have showed up to read them, and there’s a book right there for sale, and I’d have to say, in terms of breaking the actual Curse, looks like the mission was a success. I’ve never been so prolific, so exposed, and so ready to actually to do something with my writing.
Of course, the problem is, right now I blog for free so much that I don’t have any time leftover to work on publishing the next book, and so in Year Two, you’re not going to see nearly the volume you have, so that I can focus on publishing, but I think we’re all going to find that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Certainly I think it’s unlikely – and I’d worry about you – if you’re really thinking, “Oh, No! What am I going to do without 800 words from Tom every single day?!”
The biggest problem with blogging is that it’s free. In fact, remember when Betty White was on the Simpsons, and she was fundraising for public television, and she said something like, “If you’re watching Public television, and you’re not donating in this pledge drive, why you’re nothing more than a common thief! A THIEF!”
Yeah, well that’s you, man, if you haven’t clicked on that book over there and bought it. Twelve hundred pages and a solid year – that’s a lot of work. Toss me a bone, here. Me and Betty White think you need to pony up.
Well, what’s the difference. You can always just tell me later that you bought it – there’s no way for me to know. And I’ll keep doing it, don’t think I’ll vanish. But the difference is, I’m not going to be Phoning It In too much, because I won’t have to. If I can’t think of anything to write, then I probably just won’t post that day, and that should mean better stuff, as opposed to you having to sit there reading all about my kitty.
In the publishing world the bestsellers pay for everything. All of the money is made from the bestsellers, and generally everything else loses money. So an old publishing joke is where everybody’s at a big publishers meeting (or whatever) and the young, naive guy says, “Hey, I know – let’s only publish bestsellers!”
Of course, they don’t actually know which ones are going to be bestsellers until they turn into bestsellers. And then ironically, once they are bestsellers, it stops mattering if that particular author wrote anything good enough to be a bestseller – it gets marketed as one, with the author’s name in huge letters, and then that’s how it behaves.
My posts are the same way – sometimes I know when one of them is going to take off, and other times I have no idea. The one about my friend’s refrigerator is a good example – that one went all over the place.
Later next month, I’ll set up an author page so you’ll be able to follow my publishing exploits, and I’ll keep this blog mostly for hilarity, and I’ll probably look for a new place to put political stuff – I actually don’t like writing it, believe it or not, it’s just frequently on my mind when I’m trying to figure out what to post.
So anyway, just mark your calendars – April 8th, 2011 is the last day of The Curse of Future Tom, Year One. There will probably be a few bands, some dancing girls, a crash-up derby, and then a potato sack race (it all seems like the appropriate way to celebrate), time and location to be announced.
Very sincere thanks to everyone who’s been reading so far. It was a lot harder doing this at the beginning when hardly anyone at all was listening. The amount of traffic I’ve received has closed a lot of mouths, and that’s always a good thing, when you’re putting yourself out there like I have been. I really doubt that I could have finished this if it hadn’t caught on like it did.
Meanwhile, instructions for Future Tom, Year Two are currently being mulled over in committee. This first year was boot camp – next year he’s going to war.