Look, when you put up a big sign with something you think on it, that’s your right and I’m all for you. But it really makes you sound full of crap when you try to pretend that you aren’t being offensive on purpose.
After all, you’re not talking to the people who already think the same thing you put on your sign are you? Follow my logic here – if they already think that, then they don’t need to read it off of your Brobdignagian sign. So you’re talking to the people who don’t think whatever is on your sign, because you want them to stop thinking whatever they think, and you want them to think what’s on the sign.
I can be a real jerk sometimes, there’s no doubt about it. But the big difference between a blog and a sign on the highway or on the side of a bus is, you don’t have to read my blog. Signs are designed to get their message into your brain before you’ve decided whether or not you want to read them.
Like the bench signs which read “SEE?! Bench signs work!”
They sure do. Signs are like little psychic blowgun darts shot at you by tribes of indigenous marketers.
So check out this group of Canadian Atheists who like to put up signs on the sides of buses which read “”Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence” with “Allah, Bigfoot, UFOs, Homeopathy, Zeus, Psychics, Christ” provided as examples.
On their website, they elaborate a little more, musing about why people get ridiculed for believing in Bigfoot, but revered for believing in Allah or God. Although, it does not appear that anyone’s getting revered in this particular situation, does it?
The man behind these ads, Mr. Justin Trotter, insists that he is not trying to be offensive.
But I do take offense, sir. You see, I know Bigfoot. One time I was in St. Louis and some pool sharks took me for eight hundred dollars, but then Bigfoot showed up and won it back for me and bought me some gyros. Bigfoot is a friend of mine, and you, sir, are no Bigfoot.
It’s not like atheists are the only ones who like to put up offensive signs, though. How about when I’m driving down the highway and keep having to take in gargantuan signs reading “HELL IS REAL!” or “SCREW YOU, TOM, YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!” or whatever they say.
It’s like damn it, I’m trying to drink a beer, here. Calm down.
And don’t get me started on the Pro-Lifers and their Abortion Picture Trucks. Speaking of People Who I’m Most Likely To Wind Up In Federal Court Discussing Why I Used A Cinderblock To Make Them Look A Lot Like The Pictures On Their Own Trucks.
Wait we weren’t speaking about that, were we?
Anyway. Jerks and their giant signs. You know, I used to be the kind of guy who wanted to sit and argue with you about the existence of God, but then I grew up and realized I’m stupid and so is everyone else. It’s just so much easier to let everybody believe what they want to believe, without putting up big, faith-attacking signs.
That’s what bothers me the most about these guys. They’re kind of going, what? We’re just opening a dialogue.
Except no, you don’t have dialogues with giant signs. You just look at them and get angry. Or you put them up and feel clever. There’s something like a hundred thousand dollars sunk into these signs – do you have any idea how many beers and gyros you could have bought for me with that money? And if you did, I’d believe whatever the hell you said to believe, you know – I’m not complicated.
If someone has faith in their religion, I don’t want to alarm you but it’s probably doing them a lot of good. The difference, so you know dudes, is that religion is about faith, and Bigfoot is not.
I think if humankind had spent the last several millenia erecting statues and temples dedicated to Bigfoot, then you’d probably find that people took him a little more seriously. Right now, it’s pretty hard to come up with someone who even claims to have one of his turds.
Have you ever tried to prove that a turd came from Bigfoot? Without another Bigfoot turd to compare it to, it’s pretty tricky.
Faith isn’t about evidence or turds. It’s about believing without either of those things – I’m not sure that’s exactly how the Pope would put it, but whatever.
How’s about you leave them alone and focus on whatever good you want to do, godlessly. Seriously, I’m all for you. You’d be giving Atheists all over the world a better name, by refusing to engage in that tiresome, sophomoric arrogance that so often makes people stop listening to you.
Instead you’re putting up your own version of the HELL IS REAL signs. Maybe you guys could all get together and scream Ford! Chevy! at each other, or perhaps Less Filling! Tastes Great!
Meanwhile the rest of us, those of us with a bunch of stuff to do, will go about our business, irritated but probably not particularly swayed either way, by your big, stupid signs.