You can tell she’s super smart because just look at her – she’s using two computers at the same time. Sitting there wth a laptop in front of the keyboard, with the other monitor on behind it. Concentrating so hard she ought to be wearing a lab coat.
That’s exactly what she looks like – one of the techies on CSI. Like if you wanted something enhanced, you’d call her by the last name and she’d type some stuff, and maybe tell you every few seconds that she was enhancing it. It looks pretty cool, that’s for sure.
“Say, you want me to go and get my laptop?” I ask. “I could put it over there on the kitchen table, and then once in a while you could push away from the desk, slide over and type on that one a little bit. Maybe get a chalk board in here with some equations on it, a stand-up medical skeleton and a lava lamp.”
But whatever she’s doing, she’s concentrating on it. She only indicates that she is aware I’ve spoken at all by cocking her chin at me, unable to immediately disengage from whatever supersmart, double-computer thing she’s doing.
“You could get a headset,” I suggest. “Start referring to the girls as Alpha Unit One, or Lone Wolf.”
She closes out whatever academic martial arts move she was doing, and turns to me blinking and says, “I know, it’s cool, right? I look supersmart with the two computers at once.”
“I was kind of hoping someone would come by and take a picture, but I would want it to be off-the-cuff, not like me posing, writing a paper. More like a spontaneous snapshot of me being Supersmart Academic Marilyn.”
“I could make a few calls,” I tell her, but then I’m looking over her shoulder at the open book on her lap. It’s in Spanish.
Then I look at the screen, and it’s Microsoft Word, except she’s typing in Spanish. And the other screen is an article about South American Something Or Other. I don’t know, cause it’s in Spanish.
Wait a second. This stuff really is supersmart.
So I look at Marilyn, who’s giving me a flat, superior look. The look is clinically interested – Are you through giving me crap about the way in which I’m doing something which you literally can’t comprehend?
Oh yes, I’m through, says the look I give her back, and maybe she sees by my face, I’m thinking about throwing in a random pancake request, see if I can catch her off guard.
Well, screw it, let’s get out of here, go out on the deck and write out there. Maybe later I’ll come back in here and blog on all three of these computers at once, see what she thinks about that.
Marilyn does lots of supersmart things, and also some things which are not smart at all. She will not tell you about the things which are not smart, and due to a sort of Mutually Assured Destruction thing we’ve got going on, neither will I.
But if she’s done something smart, you can bet your ass she’s going to tell you about it.
Like a few years back, she figured out how to make her own suet. While she was making it out of what looked like peanut butter and bird seed and some other one hundred percent certified organic stuff, she got to explain to me what it was. It’s kind of like a big candy bar you hang up outside, to attract woodpeckers.
There isn’t much left to do that someone hasn’t already thought of. Have you seen the tomato plants that grow upside down on your back porch? What kind of crazy Space Age bullshit is that?
But anyway, she put the bars in the freezer, where they “set” and then I could just see the satisfaction in her eyes, as she hung it up. Like she’d just bought an awesome pair of shoes and couldn’t wait to go and hang out with her friends now.
Sure enough, a few days later, we’re sitting around with a bunch of mommies, and she bides her time. Waits for the conversation to approach organic food or bird feeders – something which doesn’t take long, in an average circle of mommies.
And in a perfect lull, she drops the bomb, like when you’ve been working out a lot, and you can’t wait to get to the beach, run around showing everybody.
“You know I make my own suet,” she says, kind of like she regrets to inform everyone, because it’s so inherently awesome.
I actually feel bad for them – a couple of these ladies look like they just got kicked in the stomach.
Also, ask her about her garden. We eat the food out of her garden every day, already. There’s constantly lettuce growing out of there – in fact sometimes it’s growing in a pot right outside the back door. If you’re making a sandwich, you just walk out there and snap a couple of leaves off.
There are radishes out there, and sweet peas. Cherry tomatoes coming in. Frequently, the girls go out there and simply graze. You think slower, when you graze – it’s good for them.
So anyway, I don’t use a camera, I just type in my blog about stuff, so I thought today I’d take that impromptu snapshot she mentioned, show pictures of Marilyn Being Supersmart. Seems like a step in the right direction toward some pancakes.