My Long Lost Czech Twin Brother (II)

07 Jun

Okay, so wait until you hear who my Long Lost Czech Twin Brother turned out to be.

First, I have to tell you that when I first wrote about him, a couple of people got pretty alarmed. Emailed me and said, hey, I just went and checked this guy out on Facebook, and his pictures indicate he drives a tank and likes to talk about Armegeddon.

Not the movie, either.

Huh. I hadn’t thought to go over and look at his pictures on his Facebook page, or to research him even slightly. I mean, he’s my twin brother, not a total stranger I met on the Internet, from the other side of the planet.

So I went over there and there are about fifty pictures of him with a wide variety of military artillery and guns and all that. And maybe some World War II memorabilia, including a creepy looking gas mask dude.

But then I saw the quote under his picture – “Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armegeddon.” And I relaxed.

See, I said to my friend, who hadn’t relaxed at all. It turns out that talking about Armegeddon really doesn’t relax very many people at all.

But he’s quoting Rorschach, from Watchmen right there, my favorite character in my favorite graphic novel of all time.

Me and Time Magazine think Watchmen is one of the greatest books every written in the English language, that it just happens to have pictures. But that’s just me. And Time Magazine. And also – not surprisingly – my Long Lost Czech Twin Brother.

But to be sure, I emailed Daniel Vavra again, carefully pointing out, say, I don’t know anything about you, and you appear to be in the military, and also you know, I have no idea what is going on in your region of the world at all. So. You know, what’s up?

Daniel manages to crack up at me quite clearly, even via email, as he informs me, listen look closely, those are paintball guns. There’s evidently a military form of Serious Paintball over there, that’s like a twist on our version of Civil War Re-Encactment.

Listen, Tom, my Long Lost Czech Brother says, I’m not in the military. I’m a software designer. I designed Mafia 1 and Mafia 2.

So I google him, and link his blog to mine, and all that, and pretty soon, people start showing up laughing, because not only is he a game designer, he’s a famous one. Everybody knows my Long Lost Czech Twin Brother.

In a minute here, I’m going to call my mom up, see if she’s ready to acknowledge this guy or what.

So anyway, I’ve never played either of his games, so that’s the next thing I’m going to do. I like it when I can play a video game, and announce it as artistic research.

But that will have to be down the road a bit, some timer after the big First Attempt At Screening The Old Czech Movie Reccomended To Me By My Long Lost Czech Twin Brother Film Festival.

Yes, we’re working on that name.

Also, I’ll check with Daniel, but I think I can forward the link to the movie, to anyone who wants to watch it as well. Anyone near Columbus who wants to watch it tonight, just send me a Facebook message and I’ll let you know where.

I have all kinds of questions for Daniel, and I don’t know if he’ll want to answer them by email, or if he’ll let me interview him right here, or what. I’ve never interviewed anyone before, so that would be super cool.

Making a little steeply with my fingers, and putting it on my chin while I’m interviewing somebody is on my list of stuff to do before I die. I don’t have the budget to fly to his house or anything – stupid economy – but I could probably Skype him, so he’d be able to see the steeple.

The first thing I’d say is, who writes the content for these video games, and how can you live with yourself, having hired someone else to write the content for both of your video games while your Long Lost American Twin Brother was over here, clipping his toenails and watching Doctor Who?

Also, I want in on that Paintball Stratego thing. I want to be a Scout, wear branches in my hat and taste the puddle water out of hoof prints and stuff. Figure out how long ago the horse was here, that way. I’ll bet crouching in the bushes with a paintball gun, and then getting picked up by a tank, and then – from what I can tell from the pictures – heading to a tavern for some icy cold beers – is something I could probably get into pretty alarmingly quickly.

So in the next day or two, watch for either a review of the Czech movie or an explanation as to why we couldn’t yet screen the Czech movie. Then watch for either an interview with Daniel Vavra, or if he’s not comfortable with that, a satircal interview with a fictional version of him, in which I make up both the questions and the answers.

Also stay tuned – pretty soon I’m going to really turn up the heat on my mom with some pressing questions, like why is my Long Lost Czech Twin Brother several years younger than me? That doesn’t even make sense, Mom.
UPDATE: Although Daniel Vavra is a software designing icon, I am afraid that my computer skills are somewhat lacking. Our first attempt at screening Bila pani has failed comically. It was like I ran right up against a wall and fell down and then rubbed my head and went home.

We could have watched it on my lap top, but we were determined to use the projector, and so I will be enlisting additional technical assistance, additional beers, and trying this again next week.


Posted by on June 7, 2010 in Future Tom Grab Bag


2 responses to “My Long Lost Czech Twin Brother (II)

  1. Paul

    June 8, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    Good luck! Btw, you are going to watch it with english subtitles I assume? Are there even any ? : )
    I haven’t seen this movie either, I guess I should remedy that..

    • thomaschalfant

      June 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm

      Yeah, it looks like there are subtitles attached to it – otherwise we’d be pretty confused. I think we’re trying for Monday now.


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